Season Three

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It’s the end of the season, and with ends come changes.

In this extravaganza of an episode, we look back on the ups and downs of season three, share some memories, and make some new ones.

We cover the season three Grunt Count, our favorite episodes and guest stars, answer some listener questions, and reveal the Season 3 People’s Choice MVP. (Spoiler: we didn’t win.)

Send us your thoughts on the potential Godzilla conspiracy that we’re unraveling, and we’ll see you next season!

 

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Despite Jill’s (Patricia Richardson) nonstop efforts for the past three years, the library is still somehow $1000 short on funds. In response, Jill holds a Tool Man auction on Tool Time — where Bob Vila makes a surprise appearance, bringing in $700, whereas Tim (Tim Allen) only goes for $300 when Jill bids on him herself. Emasculated and frustrated at once again being bested by Bob Vila, Tim challenges Vila to a race in their newly-completed hot rods. Tim’s nerves are frayed as he rushes to get his hot rod running in time for the race, but with a little help and wisdom from Wilson (Earl Hindman) he’s able to complete his hot rod after three years of work — and be happy about it despite losing yet another race to Bob Vila.

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Randy has been cruising the dark neon-lit streets of the internet in search of singles chatrooms, and has found a beau from St. Louis named Molly. In an attempt to woo her, he has been using Tim’s old love letters to Jill as inspiration, and by “inspiration”, I mean complete plagiarism. However, when Molly shows up at the Taylor’s home unannounced, Randy’s plan unravels.

Meanwhile, on Tool Time, Tim is given the honor of speaking with the astronaut crew of the Endeavor who have brought some space tools for show and tell.

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When Jill (Patricia Richardson) tells Tim (Tim Allen) a story about a woman who got extensive plastic surgery after her husband left her, she’s shocked at Tim’s callous reaction. Things don’t improve when she brings home a computer program that allows users to modify photographs of their bodies, which Tim promptly uses to blow up her breasts and shrink her waist. After a conversation with Wilson (Earl Hindman) about inner beauty, Tim makes amends by getting Jill a refurbished dining room table.

Meanwhile, Mark (Taran Noah Smith) repeatedly beats Brad (Zachary Ty Bryan) and Randy (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) at a variety of games.

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It’s Mother’s Day, and Tim is determined to get Jill something she really wants this year. When he believes that he has deciphered all of the hints she’s been dropping, he decides to replace the swingset in the backyard with a new hot tub. However, when she catches Tim digging in the middle of the night, she wrongly assumes that he deciphered correctly, and is building her an herb garden. But — now that she sees it missing — she actually misses the swingset. Tim scrambles to reclaim the old swingset that he gave to Pete from K&B Construction in order to repurpose the wood into a new gazebo.

Also, on Tool Time, Tim is challenged to Tool Trivia by the new foreman of K&B Construction: Les Thompson, a WOMAN.

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It’s the 5th Anniversary of Tool Time, and Tim wants to do something special: take the crew to the Indy Speedway. However, after revealing the Man’s Kitchen, Tim has exhausted the budget for the next six months. Opting instead for simplicity, he shows clips from the inaugural episode of Tool Time.

Meanwhile, Jill plans a no-dinner dinner party for the Library Fundraiser, but has a hell of a time explaining what exactly that is.